Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Dear Diary: In a Haze

Dear diary,

Lately, my head has been in a spin. It kind of feels like I've been drifting in and out of this world. Like, remember that 'Heavenly Puss' episode of Tom & Jerry? Y'know the one where Tom's spirit starts to wander around, lost and dazed as if in a limbo. That's what it's like, minus the whole heaven and hell thing that they had going on there in that episode.

I've been thinking about time a lot. How 'long' do I have left? Am I making use of the time I have now? Am I missing out? What will I do today? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year?

I guess this is something that has had always made a little room for itself at the back of my mind. Yet today, it has been storming the halls of my mind, uncaring and and wild like a bushfire. 

Strangely enough, my inner narrator seems to be Judy Garland à la The Wizard of Oz era. Right now, she's telling me, "Dear, oh dear, why on earth, are you even writing this post? It makes no sense and dear, you should get going with that essay." 

Well, Judy, part of me thinks that I'm writing this, right here, right now because:

a) the drowsy aftereffects of the Dimetapp has finally gotten to me

b) weeks of tossing and turning over my future has finally culminated into my mind becoming a blissful mess

c) the above Beach House song started to play at the exact moment when I was having that existential thought and thus, developing my need to transfer on my thoughts somewhere

d) or maybe, I just need some more sleep

Lots of love,

Jenny x

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